An app can filter a lot, but it can't replace your instinct. Here are the rules we recommend for your first IRL meetings — especially internationally, where customs differ.
Before the meeting
- Do at least one video call before traveling. It's the best way to filter fake profiles.
- Google their first name + city. Not to stalk — just to verify they exist.
- Tell someone close: who, where, when, at what time you come back.
- Enable live location sharing with someone close during the meeting.
Day of
- Public place, well-frequented. Café, park in daylight, restaurant. Not an Airbnb, not someone's home, not an isolated place for a first time.
- Organize your own transport. Don't depend on them to get home.
- Don't give your personal address.
- Keep your phone charged and accessible.
- Drink what you order yourself, keep your glass in sight.
- If you feel uncomfortable — for any reason — you leave. No need to apologize or explain.
Traveling to meet
- Never pay their plane ticket / visa / hotel, even if the story is touching. No legitimate reason justifies this before an IRL meeting.
- Book your own accommodation. Not at theirs for a first time.
- Keep a digital copy of your passport elsewhere (encrypted cloud).
- Note the address of your country's embassy on site.
- Check your travel health insurance and local emergency number.
Red flags 🚩
- Systematic refusal of video calls.
- Intense stories from the first messages (recent loss, tragedy, urgency).
- Asking for money, whatever the pretext.
- Pressure to leave Lovenly and switch to WhatsApp/Telegram right away.
- "Too beautiful" photos that appear elsewhere on the internet (try a reverse image search).
- Story that subtly changes between two conversations.
- Pressure for intimate photos.
- Profession "engineer on an oil platform", "military on mission", "NGO doctor" — classics of romance scam.
If things go wrong
In case of immediate threat, contact the police without hesitation. In France: 17, 112 (EU), or 114 by SMS if you can't speak. Outside the EU, look up the local emergency number.
If the incident comes from a Lovenly account, report it immediately via the dedicated button or by email at abuse@lovenly.online. We preserve evidence and take action.
See also our safety page for anti-scam tips and useful numbers.